A. I'm not the luckiest guy on the planet. (Although some beg to disagree...)
Some people, like my best friend DENVER...are "BROWNIE WINNERS". What is Brian talking about you say?? Well, let me tell you a short story...
Basically, Denver and I were in Junior High back home in northern California where there was nothing to do in our tiny little county of San Mateo. So his mom, Cheryl, and his Aunt Karen took us to the San Mateo County Fair and Denver would enter cooking contests with his mom -- just bc it was something to do and he thought for 2 seconds he wanted to be "A Chef".
One day, THE DAY, he had to bake the brownies, and we had to book it on over to the fair for entry. Well, it was weird, something went absolutely wrong and Denver screwed up the recipe and the BROWNIES turned out WAY TOO UNDERCOOKED and KINDA -- "gooey". He basically paniced and then we had to jump in the car and go to the UNUSUALLY CROWDED BROWNIE "COOK-OFF". I'm like, are you kidding me? THIS MANY PEOPLE bake in America????Long story short -- after much deliberation by the finicky judges -- DENVER FRIGGIN' WON!
THAT BIOTCH! He's ALWAYS been like that. Fairly effortless and limited amounts of work done to excessively BRILLIANT RESULTS?!?!? NOW THAT'S LUCK, I tell ya! JEEZES.
Me on the other hand? I always campaigned for student class president and never won. I always just got like commissioner or something kind of inconsequential that had to do with ART or PERFORMANCE or WHATEVER. Even in PLAYS I would sing my face off - but I never got the leads because my BABY FACED PRE PUBESCENT exterior screamed 2 year old and not middle aged serious "ACTOR" -- there was no way I could fake it.
So why the hell do you wanna put yourself on the "CHOPPING BLOCK" and audition for SIMON COWELL when he'll probably just eat you for breakfast?
Cause I'm in the music business... I'm a glutton for punishment. What else??
B. Pray for me. :)
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